How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
