He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
