We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
