Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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