Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize