Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize