You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
