he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
