I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My penis needs a shock collar
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
