It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
