just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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