saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize