There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize