just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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