then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
