i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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