i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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