remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude i'm inner monologue high
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
