You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
