i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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