ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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