Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
