Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize