She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
