My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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