Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
