He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
