just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
