saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
