is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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