It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
