he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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