he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
