So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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