I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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