you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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