Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
