Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
