the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i out mim tonsoeep
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