There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize