I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
