if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
