I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
