That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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