I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize