After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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