I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
