I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
