So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
