guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
