I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
