is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
