Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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