Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
