can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
