I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
