I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
