I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
