Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize