i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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