We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
