she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Randomize
