you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
