her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
