she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
