So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
