I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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